“Hi. Apologies for the intrusion. You don’t know me. My name is Robyn. I’m looking for someone with your same name in his 70s who would’ve known my mother in the mid 60s. By any chance is your father from Ypsilanti?”
See, my mother, Kathryn, has lied to me my entire life about who my natural father is.
This past Christmas I gave AncestryDNA kits to several family members. We thought it would be fun to see where our ancestors came from. For years I’ve been told I was Irish and had a great great grandmother who was full blood Cherokee Indian. So I was rather surprised to find I’m a quarter Italian and half British. The remaining quarter of me is a mish-mash of regions. But what was most surprising was my sister and I share no paternal DNA! After lots of questions and research, it has been discovered my mother has been lying to me (and everyone else except for like four people) my entire life. Wow.
Life is messy and most families have dark secrets, but this is a doozie!
I have had (and still do) a wonderful life. My mother divorced who I thought was my natural father, William, when I was very young and then married (and later divorced) John. John has been my father since I was six years old. He’s warm, loving, caring, steadfast, and reliable, and considers me one of his own. He’s a great man and I love him very much. But, even though I have my hero as my father figure, my mother’s lie crushes me.
My mother was married and already a mother of one daughter when she met her lover. They were young; she 18, he 20. When she found herself pregnant with me she made decisions she thought made sense at the time. But many years have passed from those days to this, yet the secret remained buried deep in my mother’s soul. Even when initially confronted my mother chose to lie to me. To this day she only tells me partial truths, with other people filling in the missing pieces.
Life goes on and so will I. I’m stronger for dealing with all this craziness. Sure my mother has broken every sacred bond between mother and daughter, but I’ve gained a lot from her deception. It turns out I have four brothers and a sister! Very cool indeed! And Jack has gained a bunch of cousins.
Note: There are more details I won’t share at this time. I also will not share the names of my natural father and his children, without their permission. If anyone has had a similar situation and would like to chat off-line, please message me.